Ear Trouble

Exhaustion. Frustration. Pain.
My life today.

I came home from my day long trip to the County Hospital and took a nap. When I woke up, all I wanted to do was sit and watch television. I picked up the remote and flipped around my basic stations. The first 15 channels were on commercial and 13 out of those 15 were for cars. That reminded me of my terrible day at the county hospital because when I arrived in Colton, there were no parking spots available. I was among a dozen or more cars that were circling the lots hoping to find someone leaving or a place far enough away that hadn't been reached yet. In other words, there were too many dang cars there and the last thing I wanted to see was the media telling me that we needed more cars on the road that needed places to park. Aargh.

My experience in the hospital was just as frustrating. Once I walked the distance to get to my 10:45 appointment, I had to wait in line to check in, then I had to wait outside the ENT door to ask a question. Once I learned that even though I was late because of the parking situation, there were still 7 patients ahead of me (they always triple book in the ENT area). I was glad though, because I wanted to use my waiting time, which is typically 2 hours past the appointment time, to go downstairs and get my pain medication refilled. The pharmacy was as crowded as the parking lot. I waited in line to check in, chatted with the people next to me when I did find a seat, and then got called up to the second window about 20 minutes later to get the label for my prescription. I was told the next waiting session was going to be another hour and a half. After about an hour, I waited in the prescription line hoping that when I got to the window, my Rx would be ready, but even though I only would have had to only wait 20 minutes more, it was already almost 1:00 and I wanted to get back upstairs for my scheduled appointment since the 2 hour wait time was already up.

Upstairs again, there were still 3 people ahead of me, but the nurse said to stick around since they were just follow ups. So I had a snack and took some ibuprofen (since I hadn't picked up the pain pills) because my head hurt just behind my right ear. I got called in through the clinic door and waited some more. I was there to hear about the reading of my CT scan 2 weeks ago. My original follow up was in October, but I was a squeaky wheel and they moved my appointment up. I didn't get to see the handsome doctor. Instead, I saw a resident. Although he was pretty cute and nice too, he didn't tell me what I expected to hear. I expected to hear that the choleastoma had grown back and they would remove it and I could hear better and have no more pain. Instead, he told me that the CT showed that everything was normal. What? If all is well, then why have I had pain and trouble since last November? The resident ventured a guess that it may be caused by dental problems. I said, if it's my teeth, then why do I have discharge from my ear? Then he suggested it could be my nerves and maybe I should see a neurologist. Iasked him if he was going to refer me to a neurologist. He said, "No, your primary care physician has to do that. But, I will make a note on your chart recommending it." So I left disheartened and confused. What am I to do now?

I kept thinking of how long it took the medical profession to find my ear problem 12 years ago. I heard almost the same thing last time. Doctors were diagnosing punctured ear drum, infection, or saying nothing was wrong. I even had one Blue Cross doctor tell me I wasn't having pain. That really irritated me. How could he know that? So, I am not giving up on this. I decided I should have a copy of that CT scan to compare to the CD I have from one follow up visit in Colorado. Getting a CD took another 45 minutes. First I got sent to the basement to Medical Records where they told me they can order printouts but not CDs. Medical Records sent me to Radiology upstairs. Radiology asked for my information and I was surprised to have the clerk say I had a face scan. I said, "No, it was supposed to be my ear." He explained that the maxillofacial scan x-rays the jaw area up to the ear. That really worried me because the last growth went straight up from right above my eardrum and was working its way up to my brain, destroying all the inner ear bones along the way. It makes me think that the CT scan was not complete enough. But maybe the neurologist will find something.  How long it will take that to happen is anyone's guess. It has taken me 10 months to get this far. I hope my issue will be resolved before another 10 months passes. My worst fear is that my head will explode and then the doctor wills say, "I guess something was wrong after all."

In the meantime, I look forward to becoming addicted to pain pills...NOT.

RQB 3

 

"Advice is what we ask for when we know the answer but wish we didn't."

Daughter's design.

   When I lived in New Mexico, I joined the Las Placitas Presbyterian Church. They were such a great group of people! I was involved in working for and then coordinating some Vacation Bible Schools there, then also singing alto in the church choir.
   I met my first friends through the church: Liese, Irene, and Sandra. It was Sandra who got me involved with Placitas Elementary where I did my student teaching and hooked up with Liese to initiate a Drama Club. I also very much enjoyed working with Sunflower my first year of VBS. I always use the name Dolphin when I work with kids informally and my "helper" chose the name Sunflower. It wasn't until later that I learned she was a PhD & so I changed her name to Dr. Sunflower.
   The choir at LPPC was a very fun group. Our director, Bob Boughton was so awesome. He taught us, wrote music and lyrics, and planned all the offerings. What a talented man! The laughs alone were worth the trip up the hill, but more important was the beauty of the music that was guided out of our small but mighty choir. I'm surprised Nancy did not include her quote, originally from St. Agustine, "When you sing, you pray twice," which she was fond of saying.
   Isn't it nice to have such fond memories brought up by 2 pages of quotes. Miss you all!

RQB 2 Red Quote Book

Don Halquist was one of my favorite professors and one of only 3 truly inspiring teachers I have had in my life. Don was my Microcomputers in the Classroom teacher at the University of New Mexico, Albuquerque. I was in the Post Baccalaureate Teaching Credential Program there, which I thoroughly enjoyed. One reason I liked it so much was that most of the students were about my age and working towards a second or even third career. Don Halquist modeled teaching practices rather than telling us about them and he showed concern for each of his students. He really encouraged me in my learning, offering guidance when I had too many ideas. Thanks, Don!

 



 

 

 

The Red Quote Book

One of my Facebook friends seemed so surprised that someone else said they were putting her quote in their quote book, that I wanted to share pages from my first complete quote book.

I was inspired to create a Quote Book when my daughter gave me a red hard-bound book with blank unlined pages for my birthday in 2000. That is the kind of book I favor for my journal writing because it lends itself to either writing or drawing. My daughter included a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt on the front page. Since I was preparing to move out of state, I thought I would follow her lead and collect quotes from people I was leaving behind as well as those I would meet. It took about 4 years to fill the book. Some people drew pictures, others wrote poems. I added a lot of art work. My favorite medium used in the book is crayons, but I also have a variety of colored ink pens, pencils and markers that I used. The book is unconventional in that there were no rules. I told people that they could write on any page in any direction and so that is how it is. I will post a few pages at a time. Here are the first few.

Discovering Ontario - Preschool Gymnastics

   Today I saw my grandson perform for the first time at his new gymnastics class. His mom put him into a preschool gymnastics class at Frequent Flyer Xtreme Gymnastics. I was very impressed with the large, clean facility. I believe the business is fairly new so if you are interested in gymnastics (and who isn't after watching the Olympics this week?), check out their web site: www.ffxgym.com. The fliers I picked up explained that FFX Gymnastics has a 21,000 sq. ft. state-of-the-art facility; and that they have classes for all ages and abilities, tumbling, cheerleading practice times, a gymnastics team, and they offer birthday parties. That is a lot of options.
   Little Logi began his class in the dedicated preschool area where Coach Trevor guided him through a circuit training that introduced cartwheels, handstands, balance, and coordination. Logan loved all the jumping, tumbling, and then bouncing on the trampoline. He told me about Coach Trevor all the way to class and when class was over, he got into his car seat and said, "That was fun!" Just what parents and grandparents love to hear. That is money well-spent!

Rocky the Squirrel

Quote of the Day:

Discipline determines Destiny.

~ Dr. Charles Randall

  Sorting through papers to find teaching ideas, I came across this wonderful writing exercise presented by Jeanne Whitehouse Peterson, my University of New Mexico professor of Children's Literature and children's book author. She came to Placitas Elementary School in Placitas, NM to lead an in-service workshop. I would like to share my journey.

Layered Writing Workshop by Jeanne Whitehouse Peterson

Materials: 1 sheet white paper & pen or pencil.
Directions: Fold paper in half hamburger style for 4 writing sides. Direct students in four 2 minute writing exercises.


(Cover)

Step 1: Think of a place, inside or outside, that you feel comfortable in; a place that delights you, or speaks to you, and write about it.


If I could be anywhere, I would love to be in the rez swimming pool in my workout suit, swimming laps and feeling the pull of my arms against the water. I love the freedom from weight that the water provides. I like the  physicalness of moving my legs up and down in a flutter kick and the mindlessness the exercise provides.

Step 2: Reread. Highlight or circle 2 or 3 words that jump out at you. 

Step 3: Choose one of your highlighted words as a title for the next 2 minute write.



(Inside Front Cover)

Step 1: Follow the last train of thought or let your chosen word guide you.

Step 2: Write for 2 minutes or so.

 Mindlessness

To be free from thinking and rethinking is such peace. I love to sit in my closet, my sanctuary, and center myself with incense and candles. I sit unthinking and let images, colors, shapes or ideas come to me without effort.

Step 3: Again, choose a word or two words you like. 

Step 4: Use your choice as a title.



(Inside Back Cover)

Step 1: Write for 2 minutes.

Thinking and Rethinking

To be going to school, learning a trade, and continuing my spiritual growth is a constant process of thinking & rethinking. I have thought my whole life that learning is a spiral and I see it, feel it, live it, now more than ever before. Every new thing I learn must be incorporated with what I thought I already knew. Each time, I realize I have come full circle, but on a higher level.


Step 2: There is always a common thread in the first 3 writings. Find your commonality, then on the back, write about something totally unrelated.


(Back Cover)

Step 1: Write for 2 minutes or so on your unrelated topic. 

Rocky the squirrel

Was a funny creature.

He was small and furry.

We gave him seeds and

he stuffed them in his cheeks

as if we would never

feed him again.

As an orphaned baby

He clung to the rabbit skin

We provided as a surrogate mother.

As he grew

We gave him more and more freedom

And then one day,

He left.

Just like a child.

Step 2: Notice how the 4th piece always ties in somehow.

What a cool exercise. What do you think was the overall relationship?

A Garden Meditation

Today's Quote:

"You can only start from where you are and you can only begin in the present."

~ Patrick McBride (Thanks to Mary Morrissey)

I was upset and disappointed when I went outside to dig up dirt to prepare for a garden at my new place. I had just read, "Congratulations! We would like to offer you the position of: "... the lowest level job we have. How dare they! That level is usually reserved for college age kids with little experience. I have experience and credentials! But as I was digging, my frustration and outrage lessened. I let go of my emotional attachment to what it was I thought I wanted and let the process of creating a new foundation calm me. How very zen, how very like my God, to keep me humble and remember what is really important.


I started thinking of how similar preparing to go back to a regular job after laying fallow was to starting a garden in a differently used piece of land. Both the roots of unwanted plants and undeserved pride needed to be turned over. Digging deep, I realized there is no need for me to jump into a position with a lot of responsibility. I have been through so many changes recently that starting at the bottom will be good for me. I will be like a new sprout ready to take root and grow. All of the reasons that I applied for the job in the first place were still there: it starts late in the morning and ends after traditional desk jobs are over so that I miss the heavy freeway traffic; because of the later start time I can continue my morning workouts; and, it doesn't end so late that I cannot tutor in the evenings.

Salsa Garden plot

Working the soil is very satisfying. Working with students is satisfying. My garden-to-be doesn't look like much now but it has great potential. And starting as community services assistant I doesn't sound impressive, but there is potential for growth.