Exhaustion. Frustration. Pain.
My life today.
I came home from my day long trip to the County Hospital and took a nap. When I woke up, all I wanted to do was sit and watch television. I picked up the remote and flipped around my basic stations. The first 15 channels were on commercial and 13 out of those 15 were for cars. That reminded me of my terrible day at the county hospital because when I arrived in Colton, there were no parking spots available. I was among a dozen or more cars that were circling the lots hoping to find someone leaving or a place far enough away that hadn't been reached yet. In other words, there were too many dang cars there and the last thing I wanted to see was the media telling me that we needed more cars on the road that needed places to park. Aargh.
My experience in the hospital was just as frustrating. Once I walked the distance to get to my 10:45 appointment, I had to wait in line to check in, then I had to wait outside the ENT door to ask a question. Once I learned that even though I was late because of the parking situation, there were still 7 patients ahead of me (they always triple book in the ENT area). I was glad though, because I wanted to use my waiting time, which is typically 2 hours past the appointment time, to go downstairs and get my pain medication refilled. The pharmacy was as crowded as the parking lot. I waited in line to check in, chatted with the people next to me when I did find a seat, and then got called up to the second window about 20 minutes later to get the label for my prescription. I was told the next waiting session was going to be another hour and a half. After about an hour, I waited in the prescription line hoping that when I got to the window, my Rx would be ready, but even though I only would have had to only wait 20 minutes more, it was already almost 1:00 and I wanted to get back upstairs for my scheduled appointment since the 2 hour wait time was already up.
Upstairs again, there were still 3 people ahead of me, but the nurse said to stick around since they were just follow ups. So I had a snack and took some ibuprofen (since I hadn't picked up the pain pills) because my head hurt just behind my right ear. I got called in through the clinic door and waited some more. I was there to hear about the reading of my CT scan 2 weeks ago. My original follow up was in October, but I was a squeaky wheel and they moved my appointment up. I didn't get to see the handsome doctor. Instead, I saw a resident. Although he was pretty cute and nice too, he didn't tell me what I expected to hear. I expected to hear that the choleastoma had grown back and they would remove it and I could hear better and have no more pain. Instead, he told me that the CT showed that everything was normal. What? If all is well, then why have I had pain and trouble since last November? The resident ventured a guess that it may be caused by dental problems. I said, if it's my teeth, then why do I have discharge from my ear? Then he suggested it could be my nerves and maybe I should see a neurologist. Iasked him if he was going to refer me to a neurologist. He said, "No, your primary care physician has to do that. But, I will make a note on your chart recommending it." So I left disheartened and confused. What am I to do now?
I kept thinking of how long it took the medical profession to find my ear problem 12 years ago. I heard almost the same thing last time. Doctors were diagnosing punctured ear drum, infection, or saying nothing was wrong. I even had one Blue Cross doctor tell me I wasn't having pain. That really irritated me. How could he know that? So, I am not giving up on this. I decided I should have a copy of that CT scan to compare to the CD I have from one follow up visit in Colorado. Getting a CD took another 45 minutes. First I got sent to the basement to Medical Records where they told me they can order printouts but not CDs. Medical Records sent me to Radiology upstairs. Radiology asked for my information and I was surprised to have the clerk say I had a face scan. I said, "No, it was supposed to be my ear." He explained that the maxillofacial scan x-rays the jaw area up to the ear. That really worried me because the last growth went straight up from right above my eardrum and was working its way up to my brain, destroying all the inner ear bones along the way. It makes me think that the CT scan was not complete enough. But maybe the neurologist will find something. How long it will take that to happen is anyone's guess. It has taken me 10 months to get this far. I hope my issue will be resolved before another 10 months passes. My worst fear is that my head will explode and then the doctor wills say, "I guess something was wrong after all."
In the meantime, I look forward to becoming addicted to pain pills...NOT.
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