Unemployed

Today's Quote:                                                                                                         August 31, 2011

When your brother-in-law is unemployed, it's a recession;

When you are unemployed, it's a depression.

These song lyrics are from the album "Words We Can Dance To." It was copyrighted in1975, Big Ears Music, Inc./Red Pajamas Music Inc., ASCAP.

UNEMPLOYED
(Steve Goodman)

When I got up this morning I walked down to the plant
I wanted to go to work but they said you can't
When I asked the boss why I got canned
He said something 'bout the laws of supply and demand
Now that's just the kind of thing
That gets a man annoyed
When the wolf is knocking
And you're unemployed

I filled out the forms they had in personnel
There's twenty men applying for every job to fill
Some men in line are just bums like me
And some of them got sheepskins and PHDs
It's a sorry situation that you can't avoid
When you're overeducated and unemployed

I don't want to be told how long I have to wait
Don't want to be no number in no jobless rate
Don't want no welfare from the welfare state
I just want to put the groceries on my baby's plate

When I die then I'll get my just reward
When the devil makes me chairman of the board
Whenever they had the hard times in this land
Before then they said the way you stop is to start a war
Well I don't want to hear any of that stuff from any politicians no more
Or next election day they'll be unemployed

Steve Goodman had a few lines in there I can really relate to, especially if you change all the gender terms. The lines that hit me the hardest are: "It's a sorry situation that you can't avoid, When you're overeducated and unemployed," and "Don't want no welfare from the welfare state, I just want to put the groceries on my baby's plate." Everyone is always saying how education is so important to enhance your career, but so far it hasn't helped me much in mine. Helping my daughter out in her schooling by watching my grandson has put me in the unenviable position of having two college degrees and living at the poverty level with tens of thousands of dollars of debt from student loans and no job prospects. And now, instead of there being "twenty men applying for every job to fill," there are 200 people applying for each job. Talk about depression!

Heart Scare

I had heard that stress can manifest in our bodies, but I never expected the weight of desire to be a working, productive citizen with the ability to pay my rent, insurance, utilities, other bills and necessities could cause enough pressure to feel like a heart attack. The other night as I was visiting a friend in an effort to escape the harsh realities of my inability to have any control over my financial situation, we were watching a movie and I felt a tightness deep in my chest that lasted for several minutes. The pain moved to the space between my shoulder blades and lingered there for several more minutes. I tried to breathe my way through the pain and eventually felt a little better, only to have the cycle repeat. This pain cycle lasted for over an hour and by the time the movie was over, I felt well enough to try and sleep, but not comfortable enough to drive home. It was a restless night.

My friend mentioned the possibility of a heart attack and though I refused to believe it, I worried about it all night. When I woke up the following morning, I went home and did some research on heart attack symptoms in women. Everything I experienced was included in the lists. The thing that concerned me the most was the fact that even a small attack can cause heart damage. When the EMTs asked me why I waited to call, I told them I was afraid. I don't have a job, money, or insurance, but I called anyway because I don't want a damaged heart at my age, or any age. I had forced myself to call 911 just for advice, but they sent out a team to check me out and I got my first ambulance ride to Arrowhead Regional Medical Center.

At ARMC, all sorts of nurses, interns, and doctors checked me out and they recommended I stay the night. Now, if you have a choice, do NOT check in to the hospital because they never want to release you! Even after a chest X-ray and numerous blood samples determined that my heart was okay and my only problem was a 201 total cholesterol score and an obvious financial stress overload, I practically had to fight my way out of there to get back home. Lots of gas was wasted by family members who drove out to Colton to bring me home but were not allowed to because the order had not been made. Finally yesterday, the doctor made his morning rounds at 3:45 pm. He said to expect to be discharged soon, but when I still heard nothing after an hour, my sweet nurse took the time to track him down and I finally got the order and was out of there by 6:45 pm. That gave me 15 minutes to get to the pharmacy and get the too many medications prescribed (antidepressant not being one of them!). Lucky for me the registry nurse did not listen to the staff nurse who recommended I stay yet one more night.

Today, I am still so sad because all the issues are still in place: no money, no job prospects, and a huge pile of bills to return to. But, I comforted to know that my heart is healthy, my blood is good, and I have a whole lot of people who were concerned about me.

Journal Art #1

August 8, 2011

Today's Quote:



I believe that much UNSEEN is also here.

                                                           ~ Walt Whitman

Seeking refuge in the past sounded better today than dwelling on the present. Here is some journal art from my 3/07-8/08 journal.

 Think big but take small steps.

 Took a guess on the direction of this unsigned piece.

Connecting the energies above and below.

Energy Fairy.

Meditation Message.

AppleOne: Surely no Fun

Monday, August 01, 2011

Today’s Quote:

For as long as I can remember,

I’ve had AMNESIA.

As I mentioned on Facebook, I am searching for employment in earnest now. Having always had good resuIts from using employment agencies, I once again have been applying at some local agencies, as well as directly to jobs that show up on one of the several Internet job sites I have joined. Today, I thought I would search for AppleOne to apply to as an agency resource. I found them online and was pleased to see there is a local office right down the street from me. My first disappointment was when I called with an inquiry. The telephone was answered in an unwelcoming manner and my questions were answered brusquely. Nevertheless, I completed the online application and took a hard copy of my resume to the agency in the afternoon. I felt like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” when she walks into the store on Rodeo Drive and the sales clerks tell her she is not welcome there. It is the first time in my life I have gone to an employment agency and was told they do not help people like me, i.e. ones with teaching credentials. It was a terrible experience and even though I told them they should call me, I don’t really want to be represented by a company that made me feel bad about myself. Maybe I am not looking for the right kind of employment. What is a gal with a master’s degree looking to be an administrative assistant for anyway? Tent-making…